Awareness Via a Coloured Bottle

Bottle 61
Name of Bottle: Sanat Kumara & Lady Venus Kumara
Colour:  Pale Pink/Pale Yellow
Shake together:  Pale Coral

Bottle 61 (The actual colour of the bottle)

                                                                             

    Compassion:  Love knows no Judgement (3)

In my last blog (http://colourawareness.blogspot.com/2018/06/how-colour-play-out-their-energy.html ), I wrote about how colour can influence your day. In this blog I will describe, how an equilibrium coloured bottle can bring greater awareness on issues that I was ignoring or found too hard to deal with.

My Personal Observation of Bottle 61.

For the past 6 weeks I have been working with an Aura Soma Equilibrium Bottle 61. I chose the bottle because of the colour. It was almost clear pink, going towards a cloudy white colour, and the bottom pale yellow.  When shaken it became cloudy.  The bottle did not have the actual colour of bottle 61. It had changed. The pink was fading. The bottle was calling me to use it. Why?   For the past year I have been drawn to bottles that have the pink fading into white. My question is why at the moment am I drawn to bottles that do not have the actual pink but are fading? I also noticed as I use it, the yellow part (at the bottom of the bottle) is disappearing and the white section lingers on. It seems like my body wants to absolve itself of yellow.

The Bottle I am working with.

 

My Journey with Bottle 61.

When I chose bottle 61 I had no idea what issues I would be working on. I was also surprised I chose that bottle.  I chose a pale coloured bottle. I usually choose bright colours like Magenta, blue and bright pinks. I do not pick anything with yellow. This bottle just beckoned me.  I picked it and left it on my dressing table for a week and then I started using it.  I used it mainly on my face, as a facial cream and massaged it on the back of my neck. Sometimes I would massage the oil around my chest.  I would stare at the bottle and wondered what it was trying to teach me.  I created my own affirmation. I either said it out loud or thought about it as I massaged the oil onto my body. “I let go of the past and live in the present moment. All is well in my world”.

No aha moments came to me for a few weeks. I took things in my stride.  I did my chores. Defined my goals and connected with some friends. But I was thinking too much, sometimes judging myself for not achieving my goals.

Before I started using my bottle, I was slowly disconnecting myself from friends. I was doing too much, always busy and no spare time to connect with any one. I was not in the mood to talk to anyone as I had not finished my tasks.  I was sleeping in. Finding the day went fast and feeling I had not achieved anything.

As I started using the bottle, thinking about it now, I started reconnecting with people.  I was noticing my thought patterns and saw that I was slowly becoming reclusive. I decided to start reconnecting with friends and not worry too much if I was not achieving anything. I started phoning friends, organising time out for coffee or lunch. I was lucky to have friends with whom I could talk and who could help me get out of my negative moods. 

One day I was helping a friend called Jane, to resolve an issue. I realised we had some similar issues and these stopped us from being the best person we can be at the present time. We were holding on to memories of our past and allowing those memories to determine our present moment. We were judging our parents for playing psychological games to control us. I realised later, after I had talked with Jane, that she was doing the same thing as her parents. I started thinking if that was the situation with Jane, and then something similar might be happening with me.

That thought brought to my attention my own negative thoughts. I became aware of my unlovable thoughts towards myself. I noticed that I was hard on myself for not achieving my goals and just taking things easy.  I saw that I was making decisions based on fear and not trusting. I noticed that I was blaming my father for all my current difficulties and feeling a lot of guilt, because I was not perfect. All pink issues. I was not enjoying life; (yellow issues).  I was not giving myself permission to embrace life with joy because of events that happened in the past related to my father; (yellow). I allowed myself to become invisible and detached from the world; (white issues). And I blamed my father.

I started to look through the eyes of compassion and realised I was copying my father. Dad’s decision making process had been based on fear and I was copying him. My dad was afraid of being alone and he did things and manipulated situations so that he was not alone. My big fear is that I will be alone.  That fear stops me from taking chances and moving out of my safety zone. I get angry with myself when I realise I make decisions based on fear. Getting angry with myself stops me from loving myself and accepting myself the way I am. I have come to realise the anger I direct towards myself, I also direct to my father. All pink issues.

Seeing it through the eyes of compassion, I realised some of the tricks he played on me, he did it for two reasons; to protect me from harm and also to protect himself. I am realising that my father, made the best decisions on what he knew. Things could have been worse. He might have had a strange way of doing it but he did his best to keep me safe. And he was trying to protect himself from being hurt by losing those he loved.

I remembered the stories he told about his child hood. He had lots of happy memories but he also had some sad memories. He lost his father when he was a baby and when he was eight years old he lived in an orphanage until he turned 16. The orphanage was nice. The teachers were nice, but he missed being in his home with his mother.  He felt abandoned. I guess while he was at the orphanage he made a decision that when he grew up he would never feel alone and abandoned. My father had abandonment issues to deal with from his childhood. When my mother passed away he was traumatised by that. He did not want to feel abandoned again so he used tactics to control the people around him. I chose not to rebel but to do what I was told.  I chose to play it safe (yellow issues). I was angry with myself for doing that (pink issues). I was not compassionate to myself, I was judging myself.

While using the bottle I realised that to be able to forgive and love others, I need to forgive and love myself.  The pink fading into white was a message to me that I was looking outside to find clarity rather than inside me. I was ignoring the feeling that I did not love myself.  I was listening to my head not my heart. I was hearing myself saying, and believing: “blame someone else for my wrongs”, “I wish I was perfect”, “I am not good enough”, “good things happen to others”. I was disconnecting from my inner self, doing too much and detaching myself from people who were important to me. I needed to slow down and connect to myself.

I started to slow down and quiet my mind and had the following realisation. Both my father and I are afraid of being alone. Understanding that, I was able to accept my emotions of anger and resentment against my father. I acknowledge it and forgave myself. By doing that, I am able to forgive my father.

I am going through a process of accepting where I am.  Learning the lessons of the past and letting go of the past. I realise that difficulties come into one’s life so that one can grow. Life is not smooth sailing for the majority of people. What matters is how one handles their difficulties. I am accepting and trusting that all that has happened and will happen is for my greater good. Trusting that allows me to accept myself the way I am and contribute positively in the community. I see myself more connected with general community, because I realise the majority of us have similar problems. We are all interconnected just like corals in the sea. We are not alone, when we connect with community – via family, friends, volunteering or helping a stranger in trouble.

References:

1: Booth M, McKnight C, The Aura-Soma Sourcebook. Colour Therapy for the South. Healing Arts Press Rochester, Vermont. 2006.

2: Dalichow I  Booth M, Aura-Soma Healing through Color, Plant, and Crystal Energy.  Translated from the German Language by Joan M. Burnham. Hay House USA, 2004.

3: McArtney A, Colour Codices Throughout Time. Alysea McArtney, 2007.